As an adult, we take on many roles. We are adults, spouses, employers, employees, parents, coaches, leaders and sometimes mentors. Much of the time, we have to embrace more than one of these roles at any point in time.
One of a person’s goals in life is to build and maintain healthy and long lasting relationships. But to do that, a person probably needs to know themselves. How can you understand someone else if you don’t understand yourself? Who are you? What are your values in life? What are your needs and wants in a relationship? What are your expectations of your family? What is important to you and how do you rank these issues? What is your purpose in each of your positions? It is important for us to know ourselves if we even want to attempt to understand our children.
There is a concept called emotional intelligence. There are four steps to our emotional intelligence. The first step is to be able to understand ourselves, to know our attitudes and emotions that drive us. The second stage is to be able to control those attitudes and emotions to be successful in our environment. We are all familiar with people that don’t understand themselves. And we are probably familiar with people that can’t control themselves. These might be the type of people we don’t want to hang around with. We might not trust them. So we start to avoid them and don’t count on them for much.
The point we are making is that the first step in being able to build and maintain healthy relationships with our children is to get to know one self in the parent role. A truthful look at who we are might give us some insight into our children. What events in our life have affected us the most? They might also affect our children. What is it about our personalities that guide our behavior? Our children may have a similar or different personality type. Do we understand personality and how if interacts with the environment? We will cover personality types in another blog, so watch for it.
Bottom line is it is important for us to understand ourselves. What kind of influence are you in your home environment with your family? What is your purpose in your role as parent? My thought is that as a parent we are the leader of our children. We are there to teach them how to be happy and successful in life. What is your purpose as a parent?
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