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RELATIOSHIP PRINCIPLE #2- The Law of the Mirror
By Bob Kalle
As we talked about in the last law, it is important to know ourselves. This idea is also discussed as the first step in Emotional Intelligence (EQ). The person we are closest to and should know the most about is ourselves. How can we know more about someone else if we do not know ourselves first.
I remember confronting one of my partners one day. It seemed like he acted differently in front of his girlfriend than he usually acted with us. So I asked him who he really was. This made him think about what he was doing and he stayed mad at me for a while. The jig was up.
You see, whether we see ourselves or not, others do see us. And what color glasses are they looking through to see us?
So, it is important that we need to know ourselves before we can really enter into healthy relationships. We can do this in a number of ways. We can focus on knowing ourselves before trying to understand others. We need to know what is coloring our perspectives in life. It always seems easy to critique other people, but we must be able to critique ourselves first.
Once we see look at ourselves, what do we see? What is the image we have of ourselves? Is it negative or positive? Is it truth or fantasy? How we see ourselves will color how we see others.
Once we take a look at ourselves, what is it that we need to change in order to build and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships? We all need to grow to be the best version of ourselves, so where do we need to grow? What is your plan for personal and professional growth?
Finally, we have to take responsibility for where we are and where we are going. We are responsible for where we are in life, so stop blaming others for our personal situation. If you want something changed, go change it. Don’t be afraid of change or the work needed to accomplish it. In a sense, that is why I am wring this blog. It is my way of working on myself on a daily basis.
