Perhaps the first commitment a parent should make is to be a professional parent. That is, to be the very best version of themselves as a parent. We try to be “professional” in many of our other roles, so why not in our parenting role?
We have guidelines to professionalism in our other roles. So what are the guidelines for us as a parent? We may want to start with a “Commitment to Excellence” to be the best and happiest parent we can be. This excellence is achieved by a life of continual learning, teaching our children what it takes to be happy and successful, and being a good role model for our children.
There are skills you can focus on to help you be a better parent. First, make sure you give positive feedback where it is earned. Too often, parents do not pay attention to the positive behavior we want to see and only focus on the negative because it drives us nuts. There will be more about this skill in the future.
Second, we can model how we accept positive feedback and compliments. We want to make sure we show appreciation to the person giving us the compliment. We want to reinforce their behavior and not turn them off by denials or “it’s about time.”
Third, we can model the acceptance of negative feedback. You can demonstrate this skill by giving good eye contact, listening carefully and giving acknowledgement. There should be no denials or inappropriate facial expressions. Take it as a learning experience and teach your children to do the same. It will benefit them in the long run both at school and at a future job and in their relationships with others.
Fourth, make sure you give negative feedback as a tool to teach your children. Do not use the negatives as a way to punish. Make it a learning opportunity. They have to learn what how to learn from their mistakes if they want to be successful in life.
Be responsible. You are the adult in the situation. Make sure you act like one. Be prepared for all situations as best you can. Remember, your children are watching you to see how they should act both at home and in all other places.
Finally, learn to be the best teacher you can be. Children come to us as a blank slate. They have to learn everything. It is our responsibility to teach them how to be happy and successful.
This is the beginning of our journey into parenting. We will try to write about one principle each week. So keep watch for the next principle and give us any feedback you would like to share. We can accept both positive and negative feedback.
