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Parenting Principle #9- Meaningful Gifts.
By Bob Kalle
During the year there are times that we give gifts to our children.. What kind of gifts do you give? Do you find it hard to find the right gift at the right time? Do our children seem to have everything they need? And even if they don’t, what gift would make the most impact? What is the goal of your gift to them?
Here’s an idea. This year, why not sit down and write a letter to your child or children and tell them how you really feel about them. As the days go by in a blur and we get too busy to talk, the days of enjoying our children passes rapidly. We start to forget how we feel about each other. Why not take a few minutes and just let each other know what is really in our hearts?
I learned about this in my high school class. I would do an exercise where I would encourage the students to talk about their thoughts and feelings about their parents. At first, they would be tentative. They weren’t sure what I was getting at. Here was their teacher asking them to be honest about what was going on at home between them and their parents.
Then I would ask them leading questions that would open the door. Do you like curfews? Do you like it when they search your room? Do you like chores? Do you like it when they tell you who to be friends with? Do you like it when they read your notes? These questions would get the students riled up and the ideas would then flow. The demons had been freed and they would be in a frenzy.
Then, I would give them their assignment. They have to go home and write a letter to their moms and dads telling them how they FEEL. This change in one word changed the whole tenor of the letter. They were told that they could give the letter to their parents or not. They could read them in class or not. The letters could be as private as they wanted them to be.
Many of the letters would be about how they loved their parents and how they cherished their relationships with their parents. But then there were the rest. I can tell you what I did get would bring tears to my eyes. One time I asked if anyone wanted to read their letter and one student raised his hand. He talked about how his father left his mom and the family destitute. He had negative feelings about his dad. Interesting enough, a young lady turned around to him and said they had been best friends for 10 years and she didn’t know that he felt that way.
Parents, the feelings are there. Just give everyone a chance to get them out. Show them the way and write them a letter telling them how you feel about them. You never know what you might get back in return. ��[跶�
